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It’s just…you’re like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you’ve spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them, Kimberly Pruitt, The Onion - America’s Finest News Source