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The prospect of Toryboy-as-father was always an anxious one, not least because I grew up believing that Conservatives ate their young. Or at best privatised them, and the idea of having to spend the child benefit buying shares in my own son chafed more than the delivery.

But apparently I was misinformed. They seem to love their children as normal people do. Though Toryboy did initially refuse to pick up his son. After the first attempt, he swiftly replaced him in his crib with the words, “That’s it. I’m not doing it again till he’s two and his head works.”

Since then, however, he has really come on and I am now happy leaving his son in his charge for up to 17 seconds at a time. That said, I did come down yesterday to find the boy playing with a plastic bag while his father cooed, “Oo – suffocatey!” from the sidelines, so the policy is liable to revision at any time.

Lucy Mangan: Life after birth (Спасибо Акве за ссылку на Люси Мэнган. «О, задыхалочка» — это, конечно, да.)